Advice: Kiss me!
I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and we haven’t even kissed yet. I really want to move things along but I don’t know how to approach him about it without sounding desperate. What should I do?
ST, 14. QLD.
Our psychologist says: If you want to ‘move things along’ with your boyfriend, there are a few different ways to get the ball rolling. Firstly, you could choose the ‘totally direct’ approach. When the time is right (you two are alone and the vibe is good), you could move in close, pucker up and kiss him. The dilemma is, you can’t necessarily predict how he would react. Ideally he’d be flattered and excited and kiss you back. If however, it’s totally out of the blue and not something he wanted or expected, he may spin out and it could get cringe worthy. If you’re not sure you’re ready to ‘take the plunge’ another option is to talk it out. It doesn’t have to be totally intense. Perhaps, just a cheeky smile and something like: “I don’t want to sound desperate, but I’ve been thinking about kissing you for a while now… how would you feel about that?”. If you’re worried about putting him on the spot, then sending this in a text or message may work. His response will say a lot. He may jump at the chance and has only held back because of shyness or uncertainty about what you want. Alternatively if he’s clearly uncomfortable with the idea of locking lips, at least it’ll pave the way for a conversation about how he’s feeling and what he wants from the relationship. Maybe he doubts his kissing ability and is embarrassed. Or, perhaps he just doesn’t want to take things between you to the next level. Being able to open up about the ‘awkward’ stuff is key ingredient for a healthy and happy relationship.
(image credit Alexa Clark)
Over to you: Our psychologist has given her suggestions, but what do you think? How did you and your boyfriend or girlfriend get to the point of your first kiss? How did you know it was what he or she wanted? Any ideas for ST?